The Charlotte Ingraham whom Meade mentions in his letter of December 3 was the daughter of his sister Elizabeth, who had married Mississippian Alfred Ingraham and moved south with him. Elizabeth became an ardent rebel. In June 1863 Union forces reached her home, Ashwood, during the Vicksburg campaign and generals McClernand and McPherson made their headquarters there. It’s not clear whether she told them that her brother commanded the Army of the Potomac’s V Corps. Meade had mentioned her in his letter of  February 1. Her son Frank fought with the 1^st MS and was killed not at Gettysburg but at Mayre’s Heights on May 3, 1863, during the Chancellorsville fighting.

After the war the Ingrahams were buried in All Saints’ Episcopal Cemetery outside Philadelphia. When the three sons, two of whom had been Confederate soldiers, were buried there local Quakes had to stand by the grave and prevent interference by an angry mob. (The third son, Thomas, had died of yellow fever in 1860.) Elizabeth’s diary was published in 2010.

President Abraham Lincoln was greatly distressed by Robert E. Lee’s escape back to Virginia after Gettysburg, but on July 21 he wrote to Gen. O.O. Howard and said “General Meade has my confidence as a brave and skillful officer and a true man” (Library of Congress).

Two days have now elapsed since I officially announced the return of the army, and yet not a word or line has been vouchsafed me from Washington. I am somewhat at a loss to know what the silence of the authorities means. My despatch simply stated the fact that, finding Lee too strongly posted and entrenched to justify my attacking him, and not being able to make any further tactical movement on his flank, I had felt it my duty to withdraw the army, and feared the lateness of the season would prevent any other offensive operations. I made no explanations of the causes of the failure of my plans, nor have any been asked. I did think at one time of writing to the President, who has always treated me with great kindness, but, upon reflection, I deemed it best to communicate only officially, and in a day or two I shall make an official report, which will set the whole matter right. Of one thing I am sure, that my course has met the full approbation of the army and increased the confidence they before had in me.

I yesterday received a letter from Charlotte Ingraham. She tells me all her brothers, and one brother-in-law, lie on the battlefield, thus confirming the report I had heard that Frank had been killed at Gettysburg. She says her parents are at Port Gibson, completely ruined, and that they have all to begin anew the world. Is not this terrible?

I enclose you a curious correspondence just received to file among the historical papers of the war. Poor Mr. Holstein has committed a very bold act, and I fear it will not be long before he will have to repent. I have written him a letter of thanks and send him my photograph, my hair being too gray to display in Bridgeport and my coats requiring all the buttons they have on them. Is not this a funny world?

Meade’s correspondence taken from The Life and Letters of George Gordon Meade, Major-General United States Army, Vol. 2, (New York: Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1913), pp. 159-60. Available via Google Books.